Lonely Engel, wat Terg, Intimideer, Conglomereer; In my Angs

Ek is jou slaansak
Jou hartseer en verwronge siel
Die een met wie se hart, jy God speel
Daar is gin rede vir my, om jou te twyfel nie
Ek drink jou gif, as jy vir my se dis tee
Gooi dit weer op, en probeer maar weer

Frantic Ramblings of a digital Alchemist 0001

Not laughing...
With everyone else...
Laughing at him...
Having a great time...
Will I'm sitting in misery...
Loneliness...
In the blue nowhere...
In the blue nowhere...

In the blue nowhere...
Im trapped inside the blue nowhere...
The blue nowhere...
I dont want to escape from the blue nowhere...
I dont want to escape from the blue nowhere...
I dont want to get out of here,
I like it here, in my solutitude...
In the blue nowhere...
In the blue nowhere...

For Dawn...

I wish it didn't turn out this way
Thought that it would end better
When it all started so well
Which makes me realise, I am only temporary

But still, think about you so much
How can I not, when so much around me
Reminds me of how much you meant to me
Dit it all happen for a reason, or is this life,
My long lost and past darling?

Breathed each breath with new vigor, when I was with you
But kept air in so tightly when I was holding you
Swooned by an overwhelming uncomprehendability
Which made me realise, that I am not a solus humanus
Somnambulistic beings drawn together
Held by a tether fragile as butterfly wings
Strands tapped within the tapestry of the supreme being
Cut to reaquiant us with our maker

As I am aware we both longed for more
Then a whisper to have sealed the final release
And heartfelt eulogies to bring your body peace
To say it, with saline soaked eyes
Maybe someday I'll understand

Easy deception

Theres a little red ball teasing me
Floating before my sleepy eyes
Beckons me, somewhere far away
It seems, thus it strips me of my soul
Bodiless ascending
Leaving my sinless self behind

Burdens anchoring deep
Still I slowly rise
Sinking deeper into the clouds
Little red ball singing tribute to my soul
For all it is carrying

Backwards through a star-ornate tunnel
Seeing Earths sphere decrease
Farther into the black loneliness
Looking for my special recess
Where I can unburden my soul

Apon reaching my sins refuge
It clings and will not leave

Little red ball dancing before, teary eyes
Mocks my lies leading to an unending demise
As I burdened descend again

The gift

I want to reach out and touch you
For longer than the hold you had me in
The shy embrace of a hug goodnight
And a farewell kiss on the side of my chin

I remember prior to goodbyes retire
Enjoying the company I was in
Sharing much of likeness of current situations
With cold creeping, and our jackets wearing thin
Sharing of conversations, in what would have been
Quite a lonely Tuesday evening
Taking not a stroll for granted
Only the minutes ticking on
For warming my heart
With the fading of the sun

But so much of any prior failures
I will not take relations to a different stage
To be an actor, my new friend of those I've lost
Looking past all factors and my questionable age
But I feel presentable
A gain of no special occasion
To have been in good company
With mine and your secret situation

Divine Status

Sun strikes the earth
Fractured rays
Scortched waterspray
Dims the sea...
The source of glowing brilliance
Now belongs to me

Sit the steps and lure the minions
Who run to me when they hear my call
And they stare at my every word
As long as breadcrumbs fall

With sun above me
Doves flying in the sky
See the fruits of knowledge
Stationary to my visions sight
Forward to bite its flesh
Read its plight

Work calls
Boredom befalls me
Where I must lessen myself
Deity to king to servant
To walk from this
Open field of glory
Into the cold catacombs
Where I must grovel
Till the sun reflects the moon
To make my way
Into the next day

Canvass

Coldness is corruptable
Likewise, fullness leads to insanity

The soul our depot of emotions
A source of hate, love and creativity
Born out of pride, or pities cushion
Writes my hand out of dull naivety
Bequides my pen over these pages
Scarred with hair and ink
Burns its pride or joys apon blank stares
To reflect state of mind washed on the mental brink

Minds that are never clear of its disputes
Flings my remorse apon a hill of it's own
Churns regularity, the inspirational cavity
To reveal the discarded, and replay it
Into dreams of troubles grown
But sickness brews from all its whinings
Realisation strikes but fails, a broken axe to a log
Vows a change in personal nature
Deceiving my head
To live for others, but ourselves be dead

Jerk ass me

Artists are tempremental shits
But I couldn't care more
To do chores in my own way
Even if I'm so fucking mature
So many reaons out there
Waiting to be found
For those who are willing to wait
Sit and decide to hang around

Fools are clumsy
And I'm abit of both
People my only downfall
Peculiar artisan at birth
Choose to take me
A frame of who I am
For if not selfish
I'm halfway to becoming a man

Drown them deep, I guess me
When you get to know me
From my socks to the books that I read
To the way I sip my tea
But I dont think I'm shallow
That only implies you are too
When I've worked so hard
To knot the bows in my shoes

Another vase of fucking flowers, seems petty
But dont say the same about me
Because I cant help it
If I start to laugh you down
Say strange things...
But don't think I'm crazy
If I give you a rose
Or call you my daisy

In dreams start all my responsibility
In my dreams you love me
The half girl greets the talking Charlie Chaplan
And a smile meets your insecurity

Thrown into hazes
Where all tears are alreadyt shed
Visions that do not leave
But float above my bed

How could it ever seem unreal
When all I know is joy
Where snow covers and melts
Fire unable to kill or destroy

I kiss you
Taste the serenity
Knowing that when I wake up
Seeing you will seem empty
Therefore I grasp out
Try to take you with me
I must break through these barriers
That keeps dreams from flowing with reality

But why do you run?
And why can't I?
If my feet do not want to tread
Then I will learn to fly

Break the bonds, naturally
Roll past the credits
The start of reality

Prologue to the dream

Wish I could venture to the place
Where you live all your dreams
Where the distance isn't so far
Fairytales mature into reality
And nothing is how it seems
Wher our enemies are few and controllable
Willing to lead us to a greater cause
To let us be what we feel like
And our every motion stirs up applause
Where we can tread flowers, mountains
Or sail the lakes of affection
To be alone and within our company
Where to faces bare our own reflections

A galaxy that explodes
With each act of romance
Tiredness fleets away as we lead
Supernoves and blackholes to dance with our minds
Or escape to the moons silent surface
Reading more in each glance, one could image
Where our hands lock loosely
And I'm bothered by only your vision
Where I'm not a person why
Or one of mirky detail
But like a knight in polished armour
Clinging to his maiden frail
Where I'm with you
To my minds utmost expanse
Being able to spy you
With the slightest wink or glance

The legend of June

If it was not for the chill in the air
Then by what does all around us turn by
For we are all singular beings
Bound and round by either the truth or a lie
So it goes our love and life, a double tether
Our bones and flesh never forever
In between fighting to fit the pieces together
Scattered and tattered spiritual feathers
Drops to our makers call, any hour and sour weather
So to toll alone, doesnt explain
Only tags on sleeves of an ultimatum
Unknown witless, but a card-reading medium
As a blank book is to anyone,
A deathbed ridden patient is to waiting
Or a solem vow before a couple kissing

Live through pain

Of all here, sitting on the edge of a crooked chair
With my fingertips creeping over my head
Blood stuck between my fingernails, and blood in my hair
Thinking not of anything but my emotions being fed

I know that in every essence of pain that I feel
I cannot decline that in contentment, pain is real
Although I appear well suited, mild mannered and fine
I feel like Judas sipping on the last supper wine

And restless nights on my ceiling I stare
Open minded force themselves to creep in
Of people dragging themselves through mud, skin bare
Realing how, I, cannot win

But seeking millions of lights to fill a room
And to see in reflections, the one at peace with himself
To erupt out of the dark side of the moon
And confess to what I feel to know is real