#55

I am understood
But I am not accepted
I am drops in rain

Love is violent pornography

Wish I knew what I got myself into when I started pursuing you
Wish I knew, that without branding whips and chains, you inflict pain

Elegantly, violently, turmoils of me and you, and how we communicate. Almost nothing and all, but kept blaming me, the shy one for my lack of dialog. When I softly moved my fingers, for fear of hurting you, over skin and legs. Was nothing compared to what I could have anticipated, were I even told. Or even experienced before, infatuations drown out the screams for more
Fingernails scarring my back with each moan that drowns out war
Heavenly creature transforms into every womans scorn, those to come and those before. And punishing the wrong person, for everything violent that has happened to you

I feel mistreated, marginalized, a victim to your double standards
And how you feel guilty and sorry, unleashed up to a near tortured degree. I want to flee, but my heart doesn't want to, hoping you can change. That I can make you change, please, for me, for me, for me.

Your selfishness tears flesh off my bones, you draw blood but only to feed. Drinking and filling, abuse me if I pull away in pain, not a want nor need. A little lamb in executioners clothing, death is your greed. While I, with the wrong intentions, unselfish, captured and broken. With your selfish love letters and friend requests, the devils token

My sword to pierce those vile demons and hell soldiers
When all I had to do was puncture my own organs and heart
I'll throw my own grenade and lie on top of it
That in death, I will be remembered as a savior
For I've been a hero to everyone, helping where I'm needed
But no one else to save me, please be there for me


If I'm not lost in your memories,
I'm cursing you!
If I'm not thinking about you,
I'm cutting your name into my arm
If I'm not driving towards your house,
I'm fleeing in the opposite direction
And if I'm not in love with you anymore,
it is because I have nothing left to love with

Burger van de Stad van God

Gemakkelijk kom en gemakkelijk gegaan, genomen, gestolen Wielen en radertjesdraai, ovensbrandwond en u bemoeit zich ja met, houd van ik alleen te zijn, als het zijn een Loner ben ik een misdenomer,
vergelijkt boxer, echtgenoot van gomer
Bij u dieven, frag dief, zondeeters, keuken Nederlandse sprekers en teasers

Month End City

This time of the month, garbage trucks rolling around
Dropping residue muck and slime in the streets
Smells like vomit and discarded meat.
Walking to my destination while smoking
Young beggar asks me for a smoke, I ask him,
how old are you? He asks me, how old are you?
I'm old enough to smoke, I say
Then persued by his friend, asking for change
I tell him to get lost, then someone else yells at me
I keep my pace, keep my stare, keep walking
Train ticket queues are long, I'll come back later
Keep on walking, avoid talking, even the seagulls feel sick

Pretty girl I met on the train

My elbow was resting on the safety rail
My other hand was holding my head from sleep
You climbed on the train, before the sun was up
Quick decision, you decided to sit next to me
Without saying an initial word, enjoyed your company
You were shy about the unraveling thread on you knees
I was curious about which books you like to read
Both wearing earphones, modern do not disturb signs
Looking down, with your black hair falling over your eyes
I looked quite shyly, every now and then, then look away
You noticed me, and made a point of looking, when I was not
So we played this game, telling myself, I have no reasons
No ring on your finger, married to my shyness

30 minutes later, our destination, last station
Accidentally touching my arm, a couple of times
Eventually I managed to force a smile, you wave lightly
And I whisper something about hoping to meet you on the train again